Miscarriage, Infertility & Reproductive Trauma
“ My Life wasn’t Supposed to Go Like This!”
The experience of pregnancy and motherhood is something many women have dreamt about since childhood. It is idealized in our society and is something most women expect will come naturally and easily into their lives if and when they decide the time is right. When this turns out not to be the case, it can be devastating. Often the idea of becoming a mother is deeply connected to a woman’s concept of successfulness. As a result, infertility, miscarriage or other types or reproductive trauma can leave a woman questioning her self-worth, doubting her value as a partner and feeling like a failure. After a woman and her partner have been trying on their own for a while, or if their infertility treatments have been unsuccessful, the “Will it happen this month?” rollercoaster often leads to high levels of stress and panic. If it’s been endless months or years of dashed hopes and stolen dreams, the internalization of questions like “How come I’m not good enough to have a baby?” and “Why did my life end up like this?” can turn stress into utter despair.
What You May Be Feeling
Guilt, anger, resentment, anxiety, depression and feelings of isolation can seep into the partner relationship on both sides.Friendships with people you usually seek out in times of need can become strained especially if those friends have children, are pregnant or have never tried to become pregnant. Attending baby showers and talking over coffee with people who do not understand your grief becomes a chore. Figuring out what to say to parents and other family members about your experience creates another area of angst. For many, it begins to feel like everywhere you look women are pregnant or have newborns and the whole world is excited for them. You just feel left out and alone.
Help Begins Here
If you are even thinking of reaching out and getting help that’s a good indication that you still have at least an ounce of strength left. Allison helps you work through these tough emotions in a kind, caring, compassionate way so you can begin to make sense of your life and feel hope for your future.
“I’m pregnant and I feel glorious, confused, excited, depressed . . .”
There are endless situations and emotional states women encounter when they find out they are pregnant. For some, joyous tears abound, as this long anticipated and attempted dream finally becomes a reality. Others feel as if an unwanted guest has invaded their body without permission. Some go numb, ignore the situation, or seek to change the situation. Others are not sure whether to elate or deflate. No matter what one’s initial reaction, at some point, most pregnant women find themselves on a wild roller coaster ride of anxiety, joy, sleeplessness, moodiness, camaraderie, isolation, cravings, nausea, bloating, weight gain, back pain, excitement, frustration, perfectionism, fears, tears, nightmares and more…all while the appetite is growing, the hormones are flowing, the body is exploding, and the skin seems to be glowing. “What is going on?!”
Help Begins Here
If you find yourself confused, overwhelmed, needing to clear your head or just prepare for the huge life change that’s about to come, prenatal sessions with Allison can help you sort through your emotions now, so you can be your best self in the near future. Allison offers individual sessions or you can join a prenatal support groups if there is one beginning at that time. She is here to help in whichever ways work best for you.
“How come no one ever told me about. . . ?”
Some experience this is a glorious time of bonding, with ample support from family members and welcome visits from good friends. Others feel completely isolated,depressed, anxious and disconnected from what was supposed to be their “bundle of joy.” Many feel themselves floating back and forth on this continuum. No matter how great one’s support system, once faced with a newborn’s crying, erratic sleeping patterns, feeding schedules, diaper changes, rashes, and illnesses…at some point, most new mothers feel utterly exhausted. When you add to this one’s own struggles with breastfeeding, pumping, pregnancy weight gain, changing dynamics with family members and partners… even the most confident mom can end up feeling overwhelmed, insecure and stressed out. For some, these feelings may go beyond what is normal and lead to intense anxiety, scary thoughts and postpartum depression.
Help Begins Here
No matter where you find yourself on this continuum, almost all new moms could use a neutral, supportive place to talk about what they are going through. If you’d like to meet with Allison, you can come for just a few sessions or for a longer period of time. You may come with your baby or on your own. You can come in for individual sessions or meet with other new moms if there’s a group beginning at that time. She is here to help in whichever ways work best for you.